Pseudo Socialization

Pseudo socialization is a term I haven’t heard before but it is something spontaneously created in a session I had.  The client described their relationship with social media as a form of pseudo socialization and we both loved how well that fit!  

This is not to be confused with parasocial interaction in which someone develops a psychological relationship with a celebrity or influencer. Pseudo socialization refers to the idea that while scrolling through our social media and looking at posts from friends, coworkers, celebrities, influencers, etc., we are tricked into believing that we are socializing.  The same aspects of the brain seem to be triggered.  We giggle at a joke or cringe while someone shares an embarrassing story.  It is amazing how we often find ourselves reacting as though this were happening in real life.  However, after we click the phone off, all we have is a black screen staring back at us.  It wasn’t real.  

To be fair, social media seems to bridge a gap.  During the COVID lockdowns, social media was *sometimes* a place where you could find hopeful stories or at least a good recipe for sourdough bread.  While it also allows us to see and interact with old friends or distant family members, we can’t deny that it has turned into so much more.  Instead of genuinely connecting with people we know, we are spending time watching the lives of celebrities or influencers.  Sometimes feeling worse about our own lives when we feel jealous of an experience they had or an item they bought.  

When I discuss the issues surrounding social media to clients in a session, I can see them visibly recoil.  It’s a sensitive subject and I get it.  I’m not immune to finding myself mindlessly scrolling through social media.  What I will say is that we can all focus on setting limits and boundaries with our time.  Some ways to do this would be to utilize app timers on your phone or set a bedtime for your phone to give yourself time between watching social media and going to bed.  Another more extreme option would be to delete the social media apps from your phone and only use it on a computer.  The content is a little less appealing and we tend to be more intentional with that time.  

We deserve to have real socialization and full ownership of our time.  I would encourage you to have an increased awareness around how social media impacts you and if you’re not happy with that impact, begin implementing boundaries.  

Talk to your Anxiety Specialist about how social media impacts you in your next session. 

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